In the latest issue of Essence, TD Jakes wrote a short article ("Get Lifted Out of Harm's Way" I don't believe this is available online) questioning if his advice for women to just keep praying for their marriage and abusive husbands actually made the women feel trapped in an unsafe marriage. I thought this was an interesting topic...maybe not in the same context of marriage but just in any stressful or tough situations in life. This just makes me question, just how far can faith go before the individual needs to take action? Can it sometimes get in the way of progress?
Disclaimer:
*This is not meant to question or criticize anybody's religion
*All honest opinions are welcome
*While I don't feel scriptures are needed, if anyone feels they absolutely need to quote one, please make sure it's relevant, supported, and in context.
I don't think I could ever say faith is enough to get one through something. How long do you sit around waiting for miracles to happen? When things keep getting worse? In the case of an abusive marriage I don't think a woman or abused man (they exist) should ever have to sit and pray that their husband doesn't beat them tonight, or tomorrow night. That sounds absolutely ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteI was watching a Mexican movie here called Cicatrices about this couple where the man talks nasty to his wife, whistles at her when he wants something and let his mother talk anyway she wants to his wife also. He eventual hits her, she goes Enough on him and they have a brawl and he figuratively speaking and from Stepbrothers "takes a pillow case full of bars of soap and beats the shit" out of her. The maid comes in with God garble about sticking out a marriage and praying. HE BEAT THE MESS OUT OF HER, SHE COULDN'T SEE OUT OF ONE EYE FOR A WHILE!!! Pt.: they end up back together, he's kinda still an ass.
How is it possible to ever go back to a man that left you with bruises on your face, pounded your head into the dashboard Chris Breezy style and still be blinded by love and hate? Maybe my tolerance and faith are extremely low. False this is fact.
In response to TD Jakes, I woooouuullddd say that I don't think God wants us to be STUPID. For example, you can't just sit in the house and pray that your lights don't get cut off. You need to get up, get a job, and pay the bill. Faith in something or someone is important, in my opinion. It's hard to live life not trusting in anyone or anything. But God gave us brains for a reason... just saying. If he's beating you and if you value your life, leave.
ReplyDeleteDisclaimer: I do not intend to offend anyone about my opinions of faith.
ReplyDeleteOk I agree with these responses. I have been wondering about the issue of faith for a while, namely when it comes to the way faith is deeply rooted in the black community (esp. the lower class sad to say). Although I can't speak on it from the point of view of my family, in many cases (whether its fictional tv/movies or actual stories from friends), faith seems to be allowed to take precedence over action. No matter the situation...bills piling up, can't find a job, racism, abusive relationship, molestation of child, whatever...many ppl are quick to quote scripture about weathering the storm or everything coming together in the end. I mean may not be the most religious person but I can understand believing in a higher power to watch over you, or to turn your battles over to just to make you feel more secure about your troubles and be able to remove the weight of said troubles, even if only temporarily. However, waiting for an answer to appear out from out the sky or a miracle to happen, when it puts you in physical danger or at financial (or even academic) risk, is just ridiculous. This is, unfortunately, IMO why many families/people stay in tough situations for years. They are waiting for this miracle/coincidence to happen and only giving their situations time to get worse.
I completely agree with the previous statement. I'd be really interested in researching or somehow understanding how religion, specifically Christianity, became such a staple in the black community.
ReplyDeleteThis may be me being too academic, but whenever I think about church I always think of it as a slave institution. African slaves were not Christians, but most likely pagans (I say this w/o firm support). Blacks learned Christianity just as sooooo many other dominated cultures across the world have lost their religions due to crusade like missions. Such is the case here in Ecuador where you can find Evangelical indigenous peoples. Kind of an oxymoron in my opinion.
Back to black people. Why is it looked down upon if a member of the black community doesn't attend church or have a strong faith and commitment to the church? I know 10x more faithful black people, to extremes at times, than I know white people or any other race. I recognize there are religious fanatics from every race, but I always feel like we take it the furthest at times in regards to Christianity.
Gotta go to class more to come!
So you ask "just how far can faith go before the individual needs to take action?" I want to argue that faith can take you all the way from the struggle to the resolution of a problem.
ReplyDeleteT.D. Jakes' advice for women to pray for their troubled marriages is wise BUT the way many women interpret it is foolish. If you are genuinely steadfast in your prayers and remain faithful in God's power, I believe that He will provide women (and abused men) a way out at the right time. The problem is that God's rescue package is often misinterpreted or ignored. People expect some sort of dazzling miracle when in fact it could be some more subltle. I remember my pastor told us a story about a man whose house was destroyed by a hurricane. He was lefting floating in the flood waters, barely hanging on to a piece of drift wood. He cried out "God save me!" Someone in a boat rowed up to him and offered him a ride, but the man said "naw I'll pass, I'm waiting for God to save me". Then a helicoptor flew by and the pilot threw down a rescue ladder, but the man refused saying "naw I'll pass, I'm waiting for God to save me". I'm sure you guys get the point - God will answer your prayers, but not necessarily in the way you expect (ie: a dazzling miracle). So that's why I say that faith will take battered women/men from struggle to resolution *IF* they're prepared to listen to what God is telling them to do and actually do it! He is more than likely not telling them to stay because God isn't going to burden you with something greater than what you can handle... and no one can bear to be abused!!!